Know your limits. You're just a simple EB webmaster, not Jerry Bruckheimer. Can't come up with an impressive layout? I never was good at that stuff. Look where I am now. Really, it's all about the content, not the packaging. The good-looking layout will get you some good looks and maybe the occasional site regular, but not the type you want. Besides, if you spend six months working on a site design, all it'll do is cut into your time. Get you burnt out. That time could have been spent working on content. If you know your stuff, go for that nice-looking design. If not, just don't stress out over it. If you manage to Gump your way to a nice design, you'll just end up screwing it all up after your first update.
Still, some people don't get it. They love the razzle-dazzle. Can't get enough of that initial oomph. So how do they cover up that simple design, poorly done work in progress, mediocre piece of text or whatever they decide to go with? Internet tricks. Razzle-dazzle. Hoo-hah, it's all over the place. Text that follows your mouse? Been done already. Custom site cursors? I like Paula too, but I don't need her clicking your links for me. Linked images instead of text? No thanks, I prefer to know where I'm going. Interactive EB maps? Now we're really getting cold. What were you thinking? If you need that razzle-dazzle, at least go for the flash intro like normal people. If you don't know flash, you don't know razzle-dazzle. If you don't know razzle-dazzle, you don't need it. Should be simple enough.
So you got yourself a site. Maybe you ignored me, decided to put some razzle-dazzle in there. To you, it's nothing but get-up-and-go, to us, it's all a bunch of clichéd hoopla. Ok, so we're still here. Impress us now. You got the show, the crowd, the whole deal. Now, the spotlight's on you, kid. Whatsamatta, got stage fright? I just don't see many updates up here. That's the problem, most of these sites just don't got the updates. To have the updates, you need content. Sure, some sites get through their weekly, daily, whatever schedule they got with a simple link or affiliate addition. But that's not what draws the crowd in. What draws the folks in is the content. The problem with most of these sites is that the guys running them just don't have the time or effort to come up with their own site content. Too many people are dependant on submissions. You have to start somewhere. Most people want a track record, they want to know their submissions will be appreciated by both the site and the fan base. In most cases, it's up to the webmaster to come up with that content. Sadly, in most cases, the webmaster just doesn’t get his lazy butt to work.
So, you're in the spotlight. Under pressure, pushing down on me, pushing down on you and all that other great stuff. It's a Friday, ain't got no job, so naturally ain't got the work effort either. Conveniently, your site's either going through a dry spell or staying as dry as it always was in terms of outside submissions. So explain this again to me. These guys, they want the fame, the heartwarming compliments through e-mail but they don't want to put the time into it? I just don't get it. But it doesn't take a genius to realize what the next course of action is. Most, if not all, of these guys come from starmen.net. They were inspired by sm.net to go out and make a site of their own. So hey, why not pay them back with some stolen sm.net content? Hah, still got it, don't you? Well, too bad every other lazy webmaster already got to that. It's a shame so much webspace is spent on material more easily found on sm.net.
Usually, I try to give sites a chance. Razzle-dazzle? I let it slip. Content problems? I'll give you time. But come on, some of these sites are more annoying than the latest series of Carrot Top ads. Some things were never meant to be done. Male pregnancy. Tofu replacing meat. And above all, .midi files embedded into your HTML. It takes quite a bit to make a site annoying. Bad color scheme? Yeah, that might drive me away if you have no content. Who wants to go to a site that you either can't read or don't want to kill your eyes by reading? But it might all be a matter of taste. You want hot pink on a predominantly orange EB background, go ahead if you like it that much. But I think everyone will agree that the big sin of the internet is .midi files embedded into your page. Would you want to take an hour long bus ride with some guy blaring gangsta rap on his boom-box? I sure wouldn't. Even if you're a fan of gangsta rap, you might want to give him a few shots to the head. Nobody wants to know what you're listening to, especially on your webpage. Sure, I still disapprove if it doesn't start on its own, but to many, it's still an unnecessary part of the page that adds to the loading time. To the rest, it's just a reminder of the horrors of .midi. Most people don't know how to keep this from going once they put the code in there. So just keep the code out and keep your visitors in. Once I see that "onett.midi" loading in my Internet Explorer status bar, we got a code red on our hands. It's just a desperate evacuation and in many cases, I'm just not able to get out in time off DSL.
Remember, it's all about sm.net. If you don't think it's worth it, don't get desperate and add in those "big draws" like the fancy antics or the music. Either give up or do something to draw people in. Once people see a well-done site with content and little to no annoyances, hoo-hah, that site will make an impression. De Niroize that will. Add some hardcore Bronx emphasis to it. I guaran-dang-tee it. If you build it, they will come. Slapping some internet tricks up on an Earthbound background ain't building, it's just sloppy. Get some content up there, try to come up with a respectable layout and take chances. Just don't take the wrong ones.